Consequences
by Mourning Waters
Summary: Harry Potter killed herself and no one knows why. This is a letter that her lover Blaise Zabini wrote to his mentor when he followed her. -Fem!Harry and mentions of suicide
1. Consequences

Consequences

**AN: Hey, I wrote this at 10 o'clock at night and when I was woke up I was just like 'what the hell was going on in my head last night?' So sorry if it's kind of incoherent and extremely depressing. Anyways…Enjoy! Please R&amp;R. **

**Note: Harry is a girl in this fic and previously killed herself for reasons unknown…**

**-MW**

_Dear Severus,_

_Harry was pregnant when she __killed herself__ died. She didn't even know. Madam Pomfrey only just found out while examining her…body. She was only two months along with a beautiful baby boy. I'm sorry I have to leave, but I have to find out if there's a place beyond death where I can live with Harry and meet my unborn son. Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have stopped me if you wanted to. This letter was spelled to only appear to you once my heart stops beating. Anyways, it won't make much of a difference as my heart has been dead as long as she has. I haven't felt anything since she died. It's like there's a big hole in my heart that's sucking out all my emotions except pain and sorrow; deep, heart wrenching sorrow. I'm cracked, broken, and dead in all but the literal sense. How is it even possible to be so empty, yet feel so much pain? Her death broke me, Severus. And then to learn that we had a son we didn't even get to meet? That was the final straw, the thing that finally shattered me. I tried to be strong. I really did. But I am weak and I'm giving up this half-life for the slim chance to see them again. I'm sorry. But can you really blame me?_

_P.S. Maybe you know someone who'll have more use for this than me._

_Non ti scordar di me.*_

_-Blaise Sorcelleri Zabini_

X Blaise Sorcelleri Zabini

To say Severus Snape was shocked would be an understatement. He knew the boy was bad off, but he thought it was because his mother was being pressured into joining the Death Eaters. He had no idea the Potter girl and Blaise, his favorite student, were lovers. He picked up the envelope the letter had arrived in. He checked for traces of residue magic on it and wasn't surprised to find the boy's claim of spelling the letter to be true. The boy was in Slytherin for a reason after all. It seemed heavier than before. His hand was shaking a little from having to confront the fact that he let Lily's daughter die under his watch again when he'd so recently repressed the memory. He tipped the envelope into his hand and two things fell out into his palm, and as they fell out of the envelope he felt a heavy weight rest on his shoulders. The first item was a folded up picture. Unfolding it, he saw a picture of Harry and Blaise standing under the tree down by the lake with B+H carved into the trunk. They were both laughing in the picture as Blaise tickled Harry until he grabbed his sides and silently begged for mercy from inside the silent photograph. Snape felt a tug at his icy heart as he remembered Lily laughing that exact same way with those exact same eyes as he told her jokes. He smiled sadly at two lost loves from different times as he placed the photo on his desk…They looked so happy. He returned his gaze to the second item and Snape felt the smile disappear as quickly as it had come, tears pricking at his normally stony eyes. For sitting in the palm of his hand shimmering innocently in the lamplight was a gold engagement ring set with a green heart diamond. But what struck him most was the five words inscribed on the inside.

"Ti amo, Harry. Sempre e sempre.*"

**AN: Wallo. Soooo…What did you think? This'll be a oneshot unless I get a really good response. If I get a good response then I'll write one about Harry's suicide and their joint funeral.**

** -MW**

**Key:**

"**Non ti scordar di me" is Italian for "Don't forget me"**

"**Ti amo, Harry. Sempre e sempre." is Italian for "I love you, Harry. Forever and always."**


	2. Actions

Actions

Harriet "Harry" Potter stood at the balcony railing of the highest tower in Hogwarts

Harry was having a particularly bad day. Ok, maybe that was an understatement. Harry Potter was having a particularly bad life. But this particular bout of misery was brought on by her ex-best friend Ronald Weasley. Ever since she had turned down his little brother's romantic affections, he had turned cruel and spiteful. Today was just one example of many, however pathetic and nonsensical it was.

_Harry Potter shot up from her seat as soon as the bell signaling the end of Transfiguration rang. A little too quickly she supposed. Her books scattered across the ground, creating a mess of colorful covers and bent pages. She sighed. So much for getting out quickly. She bent down to pick up the scattered notes and fallen books and tripped over someone's foot. You can be certain that it was in no way an accident. _

_"Be careful, Potter. Wouldn't want your boyfriend turn you in to the Dark Lord because you're clumsy." She blinked at him, confused. He sneers at her, seeming to think that since she didn't understand his strange insult that he had something over her. "Little slow there, aren't we Potter. Don't even understand when you're being insulted."_

_"__I'm pretty sure that the reason I don't get it is because it doesn't make any sense." Harry stood, having picked up all her books, and turned towards the door just as her boyfriend Blaise walked through it. They smiled at each other and Blaise held out his arms in an offer to carry her book bag. She gratefully handed the bag over into his much stronger arms. With his other hand he grabbed her tiny hand, the nails bitten almost to her fingertips because of stress, and held it delicately in his much larger one. _

_Harry only barely noticed the hateful glare their affection had garnered from one Ron Weasley as he passed by, Blaise didn't notice at all._

Harry sighed. The strange thing was that she was still good friends with Jimmy, Ron's brother. He's in a steady relationship with one of our year mates in Ravenclaw, Luna Lovegood. They were getting serious and most importantly, they were happy. But Ron couldn't see that. All he could see was that I rejected his brother, who didn't mind all that much.

She walked over to the railing, looking over the edge. The rush of adrenaline made her close her eyes and sigh. Maybe a few months ago she would have considered jumping off, but not now. Not now that she was finally happy with someone who was happy with her. Harry smiled to herself. There is nothing better than being in love. She puts her hand to her stomach as she feels her recent morning nausea return.

Actually, thinking of Blaise and stomach sickness, her time of the month hadn't happened for two months. Harry's eyes widened almost comically as she pushed her hand harder into her stomach, clenching it into a fist along with some of her school robe. The shocked girl looks down at her stomach and smiled. A family. She would possibly be getting the thing she'd always wanted. Hopefully Blaise would agree. Harry thought he would because they'd talked of marriage after school and then children soon after. It just might be a little sooner than they planned.

Why was she going on about this? Harry didn't even know if she was pregnant yet.

"I have to talk to Madam Pomfrey." She mumbles, spinning around. Sadly she never got the chance. As Harry turned around, she saw a flash of obnoxiously orange hair and a tall gangly form rushing toward her before she felt rough hands on her shoulders pushing her backward, over the railing, and into empty space. Arms flailing, she seemingly fell in slow motion as she fell, tears stinging her face. _Fate hates me. I'm finally happy and it gets ripped away from me. _

Her arms curl protectively over her stomach in a futile attempt to protect the child that might be growing inside. Harry's last thought is an image of her and Blaise standing side by side with his arm over her shoulders as they look down at a bundle in her arms. A baby boy with her green eyes and Blaise's dark chestnut hair. His face turned toward her as his lips form the word 'mama'. She looks at her small family that exists only in her mind and has a question.

Why?


End file.
